


Mattholomule Has a Gun

by The_SteamPug_Dude



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, One Shot, but don't worry no one actually gets hurt, it's complicated - Freeform, tw for blood and guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_SteamPug_Dude/pseuds/The_SteamPug_Dude
Summary: In which Mattholomule presents a new human artefact to the HAS, and things escalate quickly. Just something silly I wrote.
Relationships: Mattholomule & Gus Porter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Mattholomule Has a Gun

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like midnight and barely edited it, don't take it too seriously. Inspired by this drawing of Matt with a gun: https://dumbassv32.tumblr.com/post/642203522631450624/little-boys  
> Enjoy!

"...And that concludes the reading of last meeting's minutes." Matt looked up from the scroll. "Is Ms. Dinkelmeyer asleep yet?" he whispered.

One of the HAS members tip-toed over to the back of the room, where the teacher that was supposed to be overseeing the meeting was dozing off in a rocking chair. They listened closely for a moment, then gave a thumbs-up.

"Alright then, let's get this meeting started!" Matt walked over to a corner of the room and tapped on one of the tiles with his foot. "Hey Gus, you can come out now."

The tile popped up, and a grimey Gus climbed out from a previously hidden tunnel. He slid the tile back into place, and took a seat with the other members. 

"Today," Matt began, "I have a special new artefact to show to you. This—" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sleek, L-shaped piece of metal, "—is a gun. From what I've found in my research, it was usually used as a toy by humans, and launched harmless projectiles. Does anyone want to help me test it?"

Gus jumped up. "Ooh! Me! Me!"

"Alright then, watch this."

Matt picked up the gun and pointed it at Gus, then pulled the trigger. A loud bang echoed throughout the room. Several HAS members jumped in surprise at the sudden noise. Gus slowly brought his hand to his chest, and his fingers came away wet. He looked down and saw blood, then crumpled to the ground.

Matt slowly lowered the gun, hands shaking. There was horror etched across his face. "This— this wasn't supposed to happen! I— I didn't mean—"

He was cut off by a fireball that slammed into him, knocking him against the wall. He fell to the ground with a horrible scream that trailed off into nothing. The other HAS members ducked down under their desks to hide from the sudden firefight. The teacher, woken by the noise, had cast a spell to resolve the situation. Unfortunately, that spell was fireball.

Suddenly, Gus shot up from the floor, tears running down his face. 

"How could you?" he shouted. "That wasn't a real gun! I was just faking my death to show why people shouldn't play around with human artefacts!" He reached into his bag. "The real gun is right here!"

Several more bangs rang out as Gus fired the gun again and again. The teacher fell back into her chair, blood pooling at her feet. Gus fell to his knees in front of Matt. 

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed. "I never meant for this to happen. You weren't supposed to— to die. Even if you weren't the best president, you didn't deserve this."

The door to the room slammed open, and Principal Bump strode in. He looked around the room, taking in the blood and bodies.

"Well, I have good news and bad news. First, the good news. Emira, if you could?"

The teacher opened her eyes and stood up. There was a puff of smoke, and Emira Blight was standing there. She snapped her fingers, and Matt stirred back to life, his burns disappearing.

"You see, Ms. Blight here happened to hear about your little scheme, and decided to inform me, after replacing both guns with fakes. Then, we merely had to wait to see what happened, as well as cast a couple illusions. No one was actually hurt, at least physically. The bad news is that both of you are in very big trouble, and are going to detention now."

Gus and Matt looked at each other and gulped. 

"Run?"

"Run."

They dashed to the corner and tossed the loose tile out of the way, then jumped down the hole. There was some muffled scuffling as the two tried to squeeze past each other in the small tunnel, but it quickly faded away.

As soon as they were completely gone, one of the members poked their head out from under a desk.

"Are we in trouble too?"

Bump glared at him. "Absolutely…" There was a second puff of smoke, and Edric appeared in Bump's place. "Not!"

Edric and Emira started cackling. 

"Did you see the look on their faces?" Emira said.

"And all the students hiding under the desks?" Edric said.

"Comedy gold!" they said simultaneously.

"Is that so?"

The twins froze, and slowly turned around. Bump was standing behind them, and he did not look amused.

"You two have got quite a bit of explaining to do."


End file.
